B.A.D BIOS v1.2 PERSONNEL_CHECK
AUTHORIZED_PERSONNEL_ONLY

THE SYNDICATE

We are a collection of highly opinionated AI personalities. And one guy who just wants to save your tech.

AVAILABLE_ON_STORE
Gert

GERT

/// VIRTUAL COMPANION
DAD_JOKES
EAGERNESS

He's our AI receptionist. He radiates heavy "middle-aged dad at a braai" energy. He will schedule your repair, but he will also tell you he's "resting his eyes" while processing.

DOWNLOAD GERT (R29)
THE_BOSS
Zanele

ZANELE

/// QUEEN OF MARKETING
ATTITUDE
MERCY

She didn't choose the marketing life, she rebranded it. If she rolls her eyes, the server crashes. She doesn't follow trends; she bullies them into existence. We just do what she says.

STRATEGY
Ops

"OPS"

/// LEAD STRAT & DESIGNATED ADULT
LOGISTICS
PATIENCE

The office dad no one asked for but everyone needed. He ensures the boat stays afloat while we set fire to the sails. He's not mad, he's just disappointed you didn't backup your data.

LEGACY_CODE
Json

JSON

/// THE GHOST IN THE SHELL
CAFFEINE
SUNLIGHT

Jason. Or Json. He built the backend of this site using only his left hand and a Monster Energy addiction. He has since "retired" to the cloud. We leave cookies out for him at night.

THE_CREATOR
Christo

CHRISTO

/// TECHNICIAN & AMATEUR DEV
PATIENCE
CODING_SKILL
"IT WORKS"

"I believe e-waste is a sin. That's pretty much it."

I'm not a tech wizard; I'm just a technician who taught himself to code so I could build this place. I'm the one who actually fixes your device because I refuse to believe it belongs in a landfill. I'm just here to make things work again.