/// ALGORITHM: LOADING
YA, BUT
HOW MUCH?
Asking "How much to fix a laptop?" is like asking "How long is a piece of string?"
It depends on if the string was chewed by a dog or run over by a Hilux.
The Variables
| The Problem | Is it a broken screen, or did you spill a double brandy & coke on the motherboard? |
| The Part | Is it a common Samsung screen, or a obscure part for a laptop bought in Dubai in 2014? |
| The Urgency | Do you need it "Now Now" or "Just Now"? |
Potential Surcharges
- +R0 If you tell us the truth about how it broke (even if it's embarrassing).
- +R200 The "I watched a YouTube video and tried to fix it myself" tax.
- +R350 If you stand behind us and breathe heavily while we work.
- +R500 If you tell us your nephew "knows computers" and said it's an easy fix. (Let him fix it then).
HOW TO GET A REAL NUMBER
We don't charge for basic assessments. Bring it in. We look at it. We give you a price. You say "Eish" or "Lekker". We proceed.
The Bribe Protocol (v2.1)
Our pricing algorithm is highly susceptible to external variables such as KFC (Zinger Wings preferred), Biltong (wet, with fat), or a decent Coffee. These items have been known to lower labor costs significantly.
Terms & Conditions: If you bring us a device full of cockroaches, we will burn it.