THE NO-NONSENSE
AGREEMENT.
We don’t do "Herewith," "Heretofore," or "Party of the First Part." We fix tech. You use tech. This document just ensures that when things go beep, boop, or crack, we both know who is doing what.
01. THE REPAIR PROMISE
If we fix it, we expect it to stay fixed. We take pride in our hands and our parts.
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The Parts If a component we installed fails within 1 Year, we replace it. No arguing.
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The Craftsmanship If our actual work (the soldering, the screwing, the glueing) fails within 3 Years, that’s embarrassing for us and free for you.
02. THE "LIVING ON THE EDGE" CLAUSE
You like to push your tech past what the manufacturer intended (Jailbreaking, OpenCore, Custom Windows). We respect that. We are your co-pilots.
For any software mod, jailbreak, or patch we perform, we’ve got your back for 6 months. If an update breaks it, we sort it out.
WARNING: You are driving a hot-rod, not a minivan. These mods carry inherent risks. If Apple or Microsoft throws a tantrum that breaks things, we’ll do our best to fix it without boring you with jargon.
03. SERVICE PLANS
SLEEP_BETTER_MODEWarranties cover our mistakes. Service Plans cover life’s mistakes.
WINDOWS BODYGUARD
- Hardware failure covered
- Software acting possessed? Covered
- 1x "Oops" Claim: Screen OR Water
APPLE ORCHARD
- Full Mac Hardware/Software Support
- Priority "Skip Queue" Status
- 1x "Oops" Claim: Screen OR Liquid
04. WHAT WE DON'T COVER
- If you broke it while ziplining, crowd-surfing, or juggling flaming swords… that’s on you.
- The DIY Hero: If you (or your cousin who "knows computers") try to fix our repair and break it, warranty is void.
- The Titanic: Deep-sea experiments are not covered.
- Ghost in the Machine: We can't fix forgotten passwords, lost crypto keys, or your ex blocking you.