B.A.D BIOS v1.1 MENU_LOAD...

THE MENU

/// We fix tech. We complain. You pay.

FRUIT SURGERY

MacBook Logic Board Revival

R_VARIES

Because you spilled coffee on it. Don't lie, we can see the sticky residue. We diagnose the board, replace the fried chips, and judge you silently.

iPhone Battery Transplant

R850+

We treat your phone better than your ex did. Genuine capacity cells. No "Unknown Part" warnings if we can help it.

WINDOWS PAIN

The "Blue Screen" Exorcism

R650

Windows Update took 3 business days and now it's dead? We reinstall, debloat, and remove that antivirus trial you didn't ask for.

Laptop Hinge Reconstruction

R1200+

Manufacturers use plastic sockets for metal screws because they hate you. We use epoxy and engineering rage to fix it permanently.

FRANKENSTEIN BUILDS

Custom Rig Assembly

R1500 (Labour)

Cable management so clean it looks suspicious. Whether you're gaming at 4K or hacking NASA (we don't judge, just don't tell us).

Thermal Paste & Dust Purge

R450

Your PS5 sounds like a jet engine? We clean out the dust bunnies and apply thermal paste that actually works.

THE 'HELL NO' LIST

Refusal Protocols Active

PRINTERS

We do not fix printers. Printers are minions of Satan sent to test our sanity. Buy a new one.

MICROWAVES

We value our eyebrows and our heart rhythm. High voltage capacitors are not toys.

STOLEN GOODS

"I found it in a taxi." Sure you did, boet. We check serials. Don't try it.